Sorry…I haven’t been on in a while. I am in the middle of a crisis, doubting everything that comes out of my mouth and that I write. Oddly though writing this isn’t taking any kind of effort. Yesterday was a different story entirely, I wrote an email to a fellow photographer, I deleted it, rewrote it and stared at it for an hour. I got distracted, then Amelia didn’t nap and, well, long story short, I couldn’t remember if I sent it or not. I had that guilty dragging feeling like I had said something I shouldn’t have. Dread. I ran to the computer only to find I didn’t send it. Phew.
Really. Really?! I have become this person that is scared to send emails and talk to people lest I be misunderstood (yes, so many people “misunderstand” the British girl). A long time ago my Mum told me I should stop caring about what people think. That there comes a point where it clearly doesn’t matter what you do – for some people it will never be enough. Some people will like you, some won’t, some will be inspired by you, some will follow you, others won’t. Adam is the same way. Oh how I envy that simplicity.
It hit me yesterday that I am still trying to please everyone. And, in doing so I am certain that there are some that still aren’t satisfied – I know for sure I am not. I almost didn’t post these pictures, I wrote them off as rubbish. I sat there yesterday trying to figure out what people would think. I stared and stared at them convincing myself that I should post them all the while worried I wouldn’t win over the hearts of those that stop by to look at them.
Whether you love them or not…I do. They’re moody and pensive. They’re Amelia watching Madagascar 2 – again!